


This is why Maryse No Longer Calls Alec

by HornedQueenOfHell



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Brotps, Domestic Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Humor, M/M, Magnus Bane Is Quite Magical, Maryse is decent in this, Max Lightwood is adorable, Morning Cuddles, Sparring, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, Werewolves, inappropriate song lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-22
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-10-22 12:08:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10696719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HornedQueenOfHell/pseuds/HornedQueenOfHell
Summary: Alec: “Everybody shut up.” *picks up phone* “Hey mum.”





	This is why Maryse No Longer Calls Alec

**Author's Note:**

> Do I have any idea? Nope
> 
>  
> 
> Please enjoy

**Simon:**

Alec didn’t know how or why he’d ended up with the Mundie turned vampire on this mission but if Simon didn’t stop nervously rambling Alec was going to fire an arrow through his heart. 

“...and then at band practice the other day...” _BRINNNNG_

Alec has never felt so grateful to hear his phone in his life, he answers it without looking.

“Lightwood” 

“Is that Izzy?” Simon asks excitedly, he begins waving at the phone and shouts, “Hiii!” 

“Alexander where are you?” Comes Maryse’s clipped tone over the line.

Alec glares at Simon with enough force to incinerate the vampire where he fidgets.

“On a mission, we’re hunting a pack of rogue shax demons.” Maryse hmms in response.

“And who the hell is that with you?” Alec sighs, 

“The vamp who tipped us off about the pack,” if Alec and his mother had been closer he may have begged her to kill him, “He’s new.”

“Clearly. Finish the mission and get back here Aldertree has new orders for you.” Alec sighed.

“You got it.” And with that he hung up.

**Magnus:**

Alec was warm and comfy, Magnus’ bed was soft and with the man in question burrying his nose between Alec’s shoulder blades; in short Alec had no desire to move, at all, ever. Then the damn phone rings.

Groaning, Alec rolls over intending to ignore the ringing in favor of pulling Magnus into his arms, Magnus seems inclined to agree as he wraps his limbs around Alec octopus style. The phone stops ringing and Alec gives a relieved sigh pressing a kiss to the crown on Magnus’ head, he settles in to go back to sleep and then the thrice blasted phone goes off again.

“Must be Izzy or your mom.” Magnus mumbles, the shadowhunter swears under his breath but reaches for his phone. Maryse.

“Yeah” He answers tiredly.

“You never reported in after your mission, where the hell are you?” Alec smacks his head against the headboard, Magnus is mostly laying on his chest now and with an evil glint in his eyes begins to press kisses to Alec’s chest.

“I was injured so Izzy and Jace dropped me off at Magnus’, Lydia was injured as well.”

“Except Lydia came back to the Institute last night, you did not. Are you still at that warlocks?”

“Yes mom I am still here with Magnus.” Someday he’ll throw the words ‘my boyfriend’ in her face but right now Magnus’ lips are climbing up his neck and Alec has bigger problems, like trying not to moan while he’s on the phone. 

His breathing is coming a little harsher as Magnus bites down on his deflect rune and Alec has to bite his lip in response to keep quiet.

“You-” She get cut off as Magnus whispers filthily in his ear,

“Come back to bed darling” Alec thinks he may vaguely be able to hear Maryse shrieking something down the line but Magnus lips are on his and he’s hanging up the phone without a thought to anything or anyone else but Magnus.

 

**Lydia:**

“So we have mission teams stationed here and here, you and any other archers we have can take the rooftops of these few blocks here. And before you ask I will place you directly with Magnus to keep an eye on Magnus, or specifically Magnus’ ass.”

“It’s a nice ass.” Lydia snorts,

“Don’t know how or why I ever thought you were straight.” Alec knocks his shoulder into hers playfully, they’d both had a few glasses of wine as had become the norm for their monthly meetings/bitching sessions.

“Says the woman who after a few drinks told me you wouldn’t mind Jace or Izzy or both.”

“I think I just have a thing for Lightwoods, who knows?” They both laughed until Alec’s phone interrupted them.

Alec was still chuckling as he answered the phone,

“Lightwood” Lydia waggled her eyebrows at him and began to moan loudly,

“Oh Magnus yes! Harder! Just that that by the Angel yes!” Alec’s eyes were the size of dinner plates as he looked down at his phone and blushed. 

“What? Magnus say something really dirty to you?”

“That was my mom not Magnus.” Lydia’s jaw dropped,

“Shit! What did she say?”

“Nothing she just hung up.”

“Maybe she’s glad there’s a woman involved in your relationship.” She giggled, Alec couldn’t help but smile.

“Hey! This is my boyfriend Magnus, and this is Magnus' girlfriend Lydia. Magnus is bi so he's gay for me and he's straight for Lydia and Lydia's straight for Magnus. And I am friends and work with Lydia.” 

They both laughed until they cried.

 

**Luke:**

Luke and Alec were sitting in the Jade Wolf enjoying some lunch and discussing work when the call came in.

“Alec, Max is missing.”

“What?!” Alec jumped up and began to pace.

“Where is he? Where did you last see him?” Luke waved Alaric over and asked him to organize a few patrols for the littlest Lightwood. When one of the other wolves scoffed at having to work with the shadowhunters Luke rounded on her.

“That boy is nine years old and has not received a rune yet, we defend this city and it’s inhabitants. If anything happens to that child you will answer to me.” And with that the pack scatters.

“You know as well as I do Max has his first rune.” Luke shrugs,

“It’s just the Angelic rune, no harm no foul. Tell Maryse I said hi and we got this.” Alec nods and then joins the pack to search for his brother.

 

**Jace:**

Jace and Alec were sparring when Maryse called again, she’s been doing that a lot.

Alec answers as Jace continues to try and hit Alec with a bo staff,

“This. Is. So. Not cool. No not you mom, Jace is being a jerk.”

“I thought you’d finally get the stick out of your ass now that you’re getting laid.” Then a smirk passes over Jace’s face, he turns to one of the other shadowhunters and shouts, “Ay! Man pass me some of your weed!”

“Jace realizes that due to your allergy smoking weed probably won’t end well for you, right?”

“Mom!” Alec exclaims, truth was he hadn’t thought about that, thank the angel he’d never tried it. Jace claps him on the shoulder.

“Maybe this will get you to chill out, and possibly eat something. I never got hungry after smoking though so I don’t get it.”

“Jace!”

“Oh I did, I used to come home and eat half the damn fridge!”

“Mom!” Both Jace and Maryse were laughing at this point, Alec was learning more than he ever wanted to.

“It was the 70’s Alec, we were young once too you know.” Strange subject matter aside it was the first time the three of them had laughed together in a while, it was nice to have that again.

 

**Izzy:**

Izzy and Alec were out patrolling the streets when Maryse called,

“Where are you and your sister?”

“Out near Brooklyn, we just finished dinner and now we’re headed to Magnus’ club to meet up with the others.”

“Alright, enjoy your party and Alec, make sure everyone is safe. That means you Isabelle!” She shouts down the line so Izzy can hear her.

“Fuck da police coming straight from the underground....” Izzy continued rapping as Alec pinched the bridge of his nose.

“If you guys get arrested you’re calling Luke because I’m not bailing you out.”

“Gee thanks mom.”

“Don’t let her shout that at an actual officer of the law please.”

“I won’t mom I promise.

 

**Clary:**

Everyone was chilling out at Magnus’ when Alec’s phone rang.

“Everybody shut up!” He presses the answer button, “Hey mom.”

“Alec, put your pants back on!” Clary shriek/giggles.

“I don’t want to know.” Maryse says and hangs up. She doesn’t call Alec very often after that.

**Author's Note:**

> You can smack me upside the head on Tumblr under the same name


End file.
